baby, you're a haunted house, chapter 10
summary: pure unadulterated chaos.
a/n: surprise, babes. i decided i don't want this fic to go well into november, so we're going to have a few weeks with multiple chapters. thanks as always to @junosjukebox for beta reading xo also, if you read this fic exclusively on tumblr, i'm so sorry, i had no idea when i copy and pasted the line breaks don't save
enjoy xo
[🦇ִread on ao3 🦇ִ]
Daya lounged on her couch watching America's Next Top Mode l reruns, reflecting how poorly the show aged as she ate one of the cookies she’d promised to bring Bosco.
While absentmindedly scrolling through Instagram sipping cheap wine in a Halloween mug covered in jack o'lanterns, she saw that Jasmine put her on her close friends for some reason. Daya didn’t even know why she followed her. She couldn’t think of a single reason why she’d be added.
She had a very bad feeling about it.
When she looked at the story, she saw red.
It was a photo, clearly the back of Bosco’s head, wearing a sports bra, captioned “time to study her anatomy,” followed by the purple devil emoji.
What the f*ck.
Was she having a stroke?
She stared at the photo, trying to convince herself it was someone else, anyone else. But, the waterfall braid she’d done on them was clearly visible.
Over a few seconds, Daya went through every stage of grief. Despite acceptance being the last stage of grief, she went back to anger. How the f*ck could she do that to her? They had become closer than ever literally twenty four hours ago.
And now she was f*cking Jasmine.
Daya chugged the rest of her wine before drinking straight from the bottle. It was time for some detective work. Bosco hadn’t updated their story, but they never posted anything to it other than horses. The story was posted about an hour ago, which means by the time she’d seen it, they were probably cuddled in bed naked together.
The thought made her want to scream.
She paced around her house while holding the bottle of wine, periodically taking large sips before eventually sitting down, realizing there was no way she was gonna calm down. In an effort to try her best, she looked through everyone’s stories, stopping on Camden’s—a zoomed in photo of her face looking exasperated.
Well f*ck me i guess!!!!!!
Daya smiled as an idea formed in her head.
She slid up. You ok girl?
Yeahh situationships are complicated. I’m not sure if she likes me or wants nothing to do with me. We were meant to hang out today but she cancelled last minute, and then posted on BeReal that she’s out with a bunch of people right now. I guess I’ll go f*ck myself!
Wanna come hang and watch ANTM and judge the sh*t out of Tyra? I just made cookies and have a really sh*tty bottle of wine. Its half gone but ill save you some xo
Sure
Daya quickly sent her the address as she changed into something more flattering than an oversized t-shirt. Once she was happy with a tight, low cut black tank top and jeans, she put on enough makeup to look cute, but not enough to look as though she was trying too hard.
When Camden arrived, Daya paused as if she wasn’t waiting right outside the door.
“Hi!” Daya said brightly. “How are you?”
“Good, I could definitely use a cookie and more importantly, a large glass of wine."
“Go ahead and sit on the couch.” Daya put several cookies on a plate before pouring wine into a mug covered in ghosts.
“The cookies smell amazing.”
“Thank you!” Daya said, taking the seat next to Camden.
“I like the mug.”
“Only the best here.”
“Clearly.”
“So what’s up?”
“Angie and I…”
“What’s going on between you?”
“Hell if I know. As of right now I’ve labelled it a situationship in my head.”
“What is it that you want?”
“No.” Camden took a large swig of wine. “I’d be so happy with her as my girlfriend.”
“Camden!” Daya squealed. “Have you went on any dates?”
“That’s the thing, Angie always has some reason to not want to go on dates with me. Or, we’ll plan something, and it always falls through. I don’t know if she’s avoiding me, or what. We hang out but whenever I call it a date or insinuate it as such, she flakes, just like she did earlier. She keeps saying things like she doesn’t wanna mess anything up, but if she keeps avoiding going out with me, there’s not going to be anything to mess up and insinuates she wants more to happen but then she dips the second anything starts.”
“You could always talk to Willow about her. They’ve known each other forever.”
“Yeah, or Bosco. Speaking of, what’s going on with you?”
“Hell if I know.”
“You’ve slept together.”
“Correct. Multiple times.”
“How many?”
Daya counted on her fingers. “I don’t remember. A good amount, clearly.”
“Damn, well, Kerri informed us all that you are now in your bestie era.”
“Yup.”
Camden took another cookie. “God, these are fantastic. Anyway, are you okay in just a bestie era? Are you satisfied with that?”
“Thanks.” She bit her lip. “It’s not ideal, and not necessarily what I want, or I guess wanted.”
“I feel like there’s part you aren’t telling me. If you’re besties, as you say you are, why do you look like you want to commit manslaughter? And what do you mean, ‘wanted?’”
“I think it would technically be murder. Are you on Jasmine’s close friends list?”
“I don’t use Instagram as much as I should, but yes. Let me look.” Camden gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. “That’s… And the caption…”
“Oh, I f*cking know.”
“And we’re sure it’s not another blonde bitch that just happens to look just like Bosco who also wears mostly sports bras?”
“See that braid? I did her hair earlier after I was tied to her f*cking bed for the afternoon.” Daya smiled sarcastically. “Oh, yeah, that’s right. We slept together for maybe four hours before this bullsh*ttery!”
Camden paused, staring at Daya. “You invited me over for a reason.”
It wasn’t a question.
“I mean, I figured you also could blow off some steam…” Daya moved closer, placing her hand on Camden’s thigh. “Come on Lady Camden, for old time’s sake?”
“Just to blow off steam?”
“I’m stressed, you’re stressed. Neither of us are tied down.”
“And it wouldn’t make things weird between us?”
“No offense, but I don’t want you in that way.”
“None taken. Blowing off steam. No strings.”
“No strings,” Daya repeated.
Their lips met with an air of nervous energy, but after a few seconds, they found their rhythm. Once they broke the kiss, Daya took a blanket from the top of the couch, covering them both.
“Damn, that was better than the first time. The toilet’s just round the corner, isn’t it?” Camden asked as they both stared at the ceiling, Daya pulling the sheet up to cover herself.
Daya nodded. “Go piss girl.”
She looked at the crumpled pile of clothes on the ground, noticing Camden’s panties off on their own. A very petty, yet very satisfying idea came into Daya’s mind. As quickly as possible, she took a photo of the panties on the ground.
Before she posted it, she made sure to take everyone off of her close friends' story other than Bosco. She made sure that the panties were dead center before captioning it, “oops didn’t mean to :/”
Sometimes a bitch had to choose violence , she thought to herself as she got dressed.
“What is the largest bone in the body?” Bosco asked lazily, glancing at her phone every now and again, unsure of how she got roped into helping Jasmine study for a class she definitely shouldn’t have taken in the first place.
“I’m sure it’s a really great one, all bones are great, but because this one’s the biggest, it’s probably the best one, is it not?”
“Jasmine, come on. Focus. This is an easy one.”
“Gimme a hint.”
“It’s in your leg.”
“The leg bone?”
“Really, Jasmine? The leg bone?”
“What’s it start with?”
“‘F.’”
“That literally doesn’t help me.”
Bosco groaned. “It’s the f*cking femur.”
“Femur… Got it… I think I remember hearing about that one,” she trailed off. It was clear to Bosco that she’d probably forget in a few minutes.
“Why did you decide to take anatomy when you could have taken Bio 101?”
“I thought it said astrology.”
“Astrology isn’t a science class… Wait, do you mean astronomy? Astronomy and astrology are two extremely different things, diva.”
“There’s a difference? I thought astrology and astronomy were the same thing, but it just had two different names for some reason. That’s crazy, I had no idea.”
“Yes. Yes there very much is. Maybe we should take a break.”
“Thank God, if I have to look at more pictures of skeletons, my brain will explode. I won’t even want to see skeletons at Hauntfest at this point.”
Bosco scrolled through her Insta stories, stopping on Daya’s. Usually she never used her close friends' stories since she didn’t care about oversharing.
They gasped, feeling like they got punched in the stomach.
“What is it?”
“Daya…” she blurted.
“What’s up between you two? I have two eyeballs and can tell that you like her. But then I heard your cute little screaming match in the bathroom. I have no idea what that’s about. But are you guys good?”
“I don't think we are now?"
“What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Jasmine raised an eyebrow. “What did Daya do? What did you see on your phone, clearly you saw something or you wouldn’t be freaking out. I never got good vibes about this girl, but every else seems like—”
“I really like her okay? And I thought she liked me too. But, apparently not.” They showed her the phone.
“Oh, sh*t. Whose panties are those?”
“f*ck if I know. God f*cking—”
Jasmine bit her lip. “If you wanna stir the pot a little I’m here to help. Besides, I’m gonna fail this final anyway. I'd have to get a 93 to pass the class, and we both know that’s not happening, so I think this would be a better use of our time.” She moved in closely, stroking their face before going in for a kiss.
Bosco pulled away. “You’re not going to be f*cking insane if we do this? Like, no repeats of last year? You’re not gonna ruin the whole season for the entire cast because you can’t shut the f*ck up?”
“Okay, ouch. But, promise. It’s not worth it for me. I destroyed my reputation and it’s taken a while to repair it. I can’t do that again. I won’t tell anyone, you absolutely have my word.”
“f*ck it.”
“Damn,” Jasmine said, laying next to Bosco. “I forgot how good the sex was. Be right back, I’m gonna go pee real quick.”
“Go piss girl.”
Bosco took an identical photo, taking everyone off their close friend list other than Daya.
“Oops didn’t mean to :/"
Once more, Daya opened Instagram and saw that Bosco had updated their close friend's story. When she saw the picture, she slammed her phone on the table.
That f*cking bitch.
“What’s wrong?”
“They f*cked Jasmine f*cking again!”
“Daya… I’m sorry. Wait, why can’t I see that? Oh, they did not. They removed everyone from their close friends but you, didn't they?”
She bit her lip. “I did the same thing.”
“I feel like at this point, you’re just doing sh*t for the plot, and while it is quite entertaining, I worry about both of your mental healths.”
“Yeah, well. Have you ever watched Jersey Shore? ” Camden shook her head. “I’m about to show you one of the best pieces of American media of all time.”
“Somehow, I don’t believe that.”
“Oh, girl, I’m about to educate you.”
Bosco sat on the edge of Jasmine’s couch, her face buried in her hands as the regret began to sink in.
“I just can’t believe— How could she..? We literally slept together four hours ago.”
“I knew it! I knew you guys were f*cking. The sexual tension is off the rails, and while I don’t think I like Daya, no offense, she just seems like a bitch, but whatever. Anyway, I think everyone knows or assumes that you’re f*cking. Like, everyone assumes you guys are dating and—”
“Jasmine, no offense, but you really aren’t helping, and I genuinely don’t give a sh*t what you think of her.” They took their flannel. “You don’t want to study anymore?”
“No, not at all.”
“Well, I’m gonna head out. Bye, Jasmine.”
“Thanks for attempting to teach me anatomy.”
“I mean, you got a practical application for the reproductive systems, so I guess I did. See you later, Jasmine.”
“The femur is the largest bone in the body! I’ll get that one right at least.” Jasmine called as they headed out.
“I just had a thought,” Camden began, half focusing on the TV.
“What?” Daya asked, stress-eating another cookie.
“Staff preview is going to be… quite interesting.”
“f*ck, not again. Well, sh*t. I made my bed, guess I gotta f*cking lie in it.” Daya paused. “I regret nothing.”
She knew deep down she didn’t mean that. She knew damn well that she was feeling a wave of regret in the pit of her stomach, which had been the second they slept together.
“Was this a good idea? You and I, I mean.”
“Honestly? Probably not. You gonna tell Angie?”
“Probably. Don’t worry. She won’t be mad.” Camden glanced at her watch. “Daya, I’m really sorry, but I have to go. Thanks for showing me Jersey Shore. I can’t say I’ll watch it again, but I had a great time, actually.”
“No worries. Thanks for making regrettable choices with me.”
“Anytime. Except not that one. I think that’s over and done with.”
“Agreed. Bye, Camden.”
Bosco drove back to her apartment in silence. The entire drive all she could do was regret sleeping with Jasmine. She had no idea what possessed Daya to sleep with the mystery girl with pink lacy panties, but it didn’t matter.
Her own words of what she’d told Daya at the party echoed in her head, and suddenly she felt the hurt that she’d made Daya feel.
And it f*cking sucked, a lot.
They Facetimed Willow while stopped at a red light.
“What’s up?” they answered, laying in bed.
Bosco shook her head, exhaling, trying to form words that weren’t all expletives.
“Oh, sh*t. What happened? Something happened.”
“Daya f*cked someone else,” they finally managed.
"No f*cking way."
Bosco managed to nod.
“sh*t. Who?”
“f*ck if I know.”
“I mean technically you aren’t—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t like that look on your face. Please tell me you didn’t… retaliate.”
She felt her face grow warmer. “You know how I was tutoring, or rather, attempting to tutor, Jasmine?”
“I don’t know why you agreed—” Willow caught on. “Oh, no… You didn’t… You f*cking idiotic skan*! How the f*ck did that even happen?”
“We’re both petty, spiteful bitches. So, Daya took a picture and put on her close friends a picture of pink lacy panties captioned, ‘oops didn’t mean to.’ So, I made poor choices, and Jasmine and I f*cked, which was just as insane as I remembered it to be. I also took a very similar picture of Jasmine’s panties with the same caption, and posted it to close friend’s. She’s the only one who could see it. And she did.”
“Why are you both so messy?”
Bosco chose to ignore that. “God, this f*cking stings, especially after the last few days.”
“Why is that?”
“I guess she has a real sh*tty roommate, so she spent the night at my apartment. And we didn’t sleep together that night. Earlier today she helped me stone one of my old costumes that I’m lending someone. As we were mindlessly gluing sh*t to other sh*t, we just started talking.”
“About what?”
“Life? Our experiences. A lot of things. Either way, it made me like her even more, and then this sh*t happens. Willow, I was getting ready to ask her to be exclusive.”
“You? God, you’ve got it bad for her.”
“Yeah, you think? Anyway, the entire time that we were working and talking, there was a lot of tension, same with the night before. We almost kissed, but then she stopped it. I tried one of the costumes on to make sure it looked good, and before I knew it, I was tying her to my headboard.
“Damn.”
“Yeah, damn. And now my entire stomach is in knots, and I regret f*cking everything. I should have just asked her about it.”
“Maybe you’re a bit too petty and spiteful…” WIllow trailed off before laughing. “Just kidding, you’re the right amount, but she’s giving you a run for your money. She keeps you on your toes.”
“Which is why I like her so much.”
“Daya keeps your ego in check, clearly.” Willow hesitated. “I hate to bring this up, but how’s staff preview tomorrow gonna go?”
“f*ck, not again. Well, we both f*cked up, and now we have to face the consequences and bullsh*t that goes along with it all.”
“That’s mature of you. Daya’s call time is 30 minutes after mine, and mine’s 4:15. Avoid the trailer at all costs for about half an hour. Wait no, give it an hour, just to be sure.”
“Thank you. My call time isn’t until way after that, but Irene’s a f*cking psychic or some sh*t. She keeps asking me about Daya.”
“I’m never going to forget how awkward you walking into that trailer was. Irene had just mentioned that you were sisters, and I swear to God Daya looked as white as a f*cking ghost. So yeah, let’s avoid that. But yeah, I get that. Irene’s got a sixth sense, I swear.”
“I mean, I’m pretty sure she sold her soul to Satan so…" Bosco trailed off as they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex. "Well, I just got home. Thanks for talking sh*t out, diva, have a good night.”
“Bye, slu*t."
When Camden arrived back home, she tried to focus on something, anything else that wasn’t the guilt that she’d felt. She knew that she didn’t owe Angie an explanation, God knows she never explained herself constantly cancelling plans.
Still, as she sat on her bed, she drafted what she wanted to tell her in her head, but nothing she came up with felt good enough.
She decided to text Angie.
Hey, I know that you were busy, but if you were free later on, can you come over? I wanna talk to you about something.
Immediately Angie texted back, something unusual for her.
I’m actually not too far from your place. Be over soon <3
Camden paced her entire apartment as she tried to figure out how to tell Angie. Once more, nothing felt good enough. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed—it could have been five minutes, or an hour, when there was a light knock on the door.
She stood at the doorway and counted to ten before answering it.
“Hey!” Angie greeted brightly, pulling Camden into a hug.
“Thanks for meeting me. Come in,” she gestured.
She raised an eyebrow. “Lady Camden, what did you need to talk about? Is everything okay?”
Camden led them to the couch and exhaled.
“Honey, you’re acting so strange, and I don’t like it. Just spit it out.”
She pursed her lips before continuing. “I slept with someone else.”
Angie remained silent before managing a soft, “Oh.”
“And I know we aren’t exclusive or anything, but I feel an odd sense of guilt for whatever reason. And I’m really sorry.”
“Like you said, we aren’t exclusive.”
They sat in silence, staring forward.
“Who was it? Do I know her?” Angie asked.
“Daya.”
“Wait, what? How did that even happen? Before you continue, please know I’m not mad by any means.”
“Oh, thank God. Okay, well the story actually begins a few years ago. Remember how Daya and I talked at the bonfire about uni?”
Angie nodded. “I think I know where this is headed.”
“We met at a frat house either freshman or sophom*ore year, I don’t remember. We got drunk and then hooked up.”
“And what made you wanna hook up again all these years later?”
Again, Camden paused, choosing her words carefully. “It really isn’t my business to tell, but Daya and Bosco are sleeping together again and I guess Bosco slept with J—Someone else.”
“How did you get involved in this?”
“I’m going to be honest, Angie. It hurt my feelings that you flaked again. And I let Daya know what was happening, and she invited me over.”
Angie frowned. “Baby, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings.”
“Why don’t you want to go on a date with me?”
“It’s like I said, I am so afraid of messing this up.”
“Angie, you won’t even go on a date with me, there’s nothing to mess up.”
“True… Wanna go on a date? Like, right now? That new mini golf place is open until late.”
Camden smiled. “I’d love that.”
f*cking Jasmine.
Literally, f*cking Jasmine. Bosco f*cked Jasmine.
Daya groaned, laying in bed, trying her hardest to not think about it. Unfortunately, the more she tried to not think about it, the more it crept into her head.
She took her phone off the charger and decided to Facetime Kerri.
“What was the foolishness that just went down?” Kerri demanded, immediately after answering the call.
“How do you—”
“Willow. Willow has become Bosco’s therapist, and I have become yours.”
Daya said nothing.
“Daya…”
She sighed. “Okay. So, this is going to be sort of a long story. I spent the night at Bosco’s the other night, nothing happened, strictly because my roommate decided to have a dick appointment on the couch. Anyway, we slept in different rooms, cool, right? Okay, well then, I helped her stone a burlesque costume that she was lending to someone. The entire time we were just talking about everything, realizing that there was more to us than just us constantly being horny for each other. We really connected and became really close, we talked about some deep sh*t. Of f*cking course whenever we finished, she wanted to see what it looked like on. She told me to put it on, but there’s no way it would have fit my boobs. So f*cking unfortunately for me, she tried it on, and f*ck, Kerri… When I tell you I just about jumped her goddamn bones…”
“Rest in peace to the bestie era.”
“Anyway, so yeah, we hooked up, and then she told me she had a bunch of errands to do, but she had the worst f*cking sex hair so I did her hair in a waterfall braid, this is relevant I promise. So, I put some cookies in the oven and put on an old ANTM episode, and then I randomly go on Insta and what do I see other than that Jasmine added me to her close friends story. When I clicked on it, I wanted to throw my phone on the wall. It said something about studying anatomy with her. The her in question was a blonde with a f*cking waterfall braid.”
“Oh, sh*t.”
“Yup! So, I was scrolling through stories, trying to convince myself that I didn’t see what I had just seen, and so Camden was also going through it, so I invited her over. We ate cookies and hooked up again—”
“Again?”
She sighed. “Oh, right. Camden and I coincidentally f*cked back in undergrad.”
“What the f*ck? What are the chances?"
“Right? Anyway, we hooked up, and I may have been a little petty…”
“Daya…” Kerri raised an eyebrow like a disappointed mother. “What did you do?”
“I’m not proud, okay? I took a picture of Camden’s panties on the ground and captioned it ‘oops didn’t mean to.’ I know. I know, it was stupid.”
“Daya… Girl…”
“I f*cked up, but it doesn’t matter, because then they also made the same exact story with Jasmine’s panties with the same exact f*cking caption. They f*cked her twice. I f*cked Camden once. I’m just saying.”
Kerri sighed deeply. “Y’all are both too much. You both made your bed, time to lay in it, and lie in it you will at staff preview.”
Daya groaned. “I know. This is going to be even worse than dress rehearsal.”
“It sucks for you, but honestly…”
“I deserve it, I know.”
“Sometimes you need a bit of tough love.”
“I know.”
“Just don’t f*cking scream at her in the bathroom.”
“I absolutely will not, Crystal already told us if we can’t stay in check that we’re both getting moved to separate houses.”
“Ugh, not houses. So boring.” Kerri imitated lunging forward a few times. “That’s what being in a house is, apparently. Step on the trigger, jump out the hole, jump back in the hole. That’s it. So for your sake, be on your best behavior. Besides, no one wants to see you both go. Especially because it’s my last year. Do it for me, baby.”
“Will do.”
“God, Kerri it was so f*cking awful, the night of dress rehearsal, Irene’s doing my makeup and talking about her sister—”
“Oh, no. I’m pretty sure that woman can stare into your soul, too.”
“Yeah, for sure. Well, now I have to awkwardly sit in her makeup chair pretending I don’t want to hit her sister in the face with a metal chair.”
“Okay, Rhea Ripley.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“I gotta go, baby. Remember, keep your sh*t together.”
“All for you, babe.”
Kerri blew a kiss and repeated, “Keep your sh*t together.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
